When I grow up

Hello, Hello, Hello.

This is my first blog in this page and I would like to share about something that is very dear in my heart. My aspiration..

I am a fickle minded individual. ( you will understand at the end of this sharing.)

I remember fondly when I was young all I wanted to be was to be with Barney when I grow up.

I was then stirred by my eldest cousin that you need to choose an occupation to be when you grow up... I was forced to want to be an architect, a lawyer, a doctor. You name it..

Growing up isn't an easy walk in the park.. There were a lot of choices that we need to make and its for those choices it shaped our interests, knowledge and our aspiration.

When I was in elementary, I was in the school's science team and that really got me into wanting to be a scientist or a researcher. However, TV shows and social perceptions of female STEM leaders were far too little back then. I felt this was something I couldn't do, I shouldn't do. I felt I needed to fill a role in society just because of my gender. But my interest in STEM programs didn't died down immediately.

Instead, when I entered middle school, I wanted to break all gender roles (subconsciously) I wanted to be a forensic pathologist, a prosecutor, a Cop. It was until I started learning music, I wanted to be a musician and a music psychologist.

I also started remembering my science grades started falling at that point of time.

The phase of being a musician slowly died down. I was told to be practical. When I graduated from middle school, I was coerced to make the strongest decision in my life. choosing a Diploma focus. I chose Business Management eventually.

Now I've graduated from High School with a diploma. I had a wonderful student life of being the president of The Green Club (Geo Council) and a student musician. I still don't know what's my aspiration is? I know what I need to do and what I like doing and what I hate doing. I just don't know what occupation to choose and to choose from my diploma, I don't feel like I am choosing a path that killed my soul.

What actually prompted me to write about this article was this email I received from a lady I really enjoyed being with when I was in Andorra with the Earthwatch team.

Her name is carol.

Carol reminds me a lot about love, joy and warmth.

When I first met her, Carol struck me to me as a person I cant really relate to due to her seniority. I thought she was like the lovely grandmother I used to watch in movies. You know, the ones like Rose Dawson in Titanic? She is such a lovely lady, soft spoken, had a great smile, funny and I knew that she has a kind heart.

Little did I know meeting Carol was the biggest lesson I had in my life. My time spent with Carol was an experience I never thought I would ever imagine.

"And Like Rose Dawson, Carol had a roller coaster of experiences from her stories she shared."

Carol is a radiation oncologist, she has her own clinic, teaches in her Alma mater, Volunteers 2 times a year. She was 80 (IF I remembered accurately) when we were hiking and during the hike, she was strong like the mountains. Even with a hip metal in her!

She actively gives back to the people on volunteer programs, I remember we had a conversation on women empowerment and she shared her experience volunteering with women who are in a less privileged community. Despite having a busy schedule, Carol takes time to give back to others and this really inspires me to keep helping others. It really shows how much love she has in her to be able to share it and care for others.

During my hike, whenever I got injured, Carol was there, whenever I was afraid, she held my hand and whenever I felt alone or small, she made me felt special. she was there every step of the way and it made felt safe. She taught me with a little support, we are able to push hurdles across and accomplish goals we never knew existed.

I'm often reminded of the gift of laughter in life from her family. Her Nephew Rick, often shared his crazy stories and experience with Carol, which never fails to crack me up! Sometimes in life, we don't get to choose to get hurt but we do have the choice to remember and appreciate life simple pleasures. The thought of my time with carol always brings a smile and remind me that life deserves to have some fun.

Her stories in life motivated me to share good intentions to others around me and seeing her climbing up the Pyrenees faster than the others inspired me that I can do anything when I set my mind to it.

Although I still may not made up my mind of what occupation I want to be when I grow up, I know I want to be like Carol. I want to experience life as fully as she did. I want to pursue what I'm interested in. I know that life isn't smooth sailing but we need to move on.

I learnt that Aspirations aren't Occupations to fill, its the dream we dare to dream that we needs to be fulfilled, the experience we want to embrace, but most of all Aspiration is the soul that keeps us alive.

Don't Cut yourself short of your talents just because someone told you else wise. It isn't their life, its yours. So Go out there and start experimenting with life.