To be human is to love, even when it gets too much.
It's been a busy period. A period which I shall describe, the time where I shaped myself into someone else to please the people I cared about. I tried being myself through pleasing the people I love the most. Subconsciously, this killed me silently.
I thought I would be happy. Yes I was, I am happy when I stepped out of that Cheryl. That Cheryl who has everything under control, that Cheryl who could give everything, who was finally fitting into society standards.
I often question my purpose.I sometimes feel like I already found the answer. But often I guess I'm still lost.
Though this period was the period I was most lost, yet it was the period things surfaced most.
I found my answer, it's the Cheryl that has nothing under control, pulling herself whenever she falls, not fitting into other's expectation, who was willing to explore that made life seem like adventure made it all worthwhile.
Its not the destination that matters, its the journey.
I felt like I forgotten something important during the day... And it slowly returned during the night.
Recent activities have seem to prove that I am still hurt. Will you still love me when I'm longer young and beautiful. Will I still love me? Problems wont stay forever. Attitude towards problem do stay.
You can forgive and still disagree with someone else's behavior. I guess to be human is to love, we often focus a lot on what we love but not why we love. I did the mistake to give up. But Somewhere deep inside of me, I didn't give up. I struggled to forgive. I didn't thought I had it in me to forgive but I did. Sometimes to forgive isn't about saying I love you, and forget everything, its realizing that you love yourself enough to let go and remember the good in letting it go.
I'm not ready to give up.
There's no reason to give up.
FYI, the love wasnt referring to any man that they think they own me. #GirBawse #loveisforeveryone